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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 11, 2005 15:43:17 GMT
I thought we'd try something different here in the Land of Fan Fiction. Stealing the concept from "Open Source" programmers, I thought we could try an 'open source" story, where any member can continue the story from where the last one left off.
Just a few warnings. No nastiness or vulgarity. And don't be upset if the plot doesn't go exactly where you want it too. I suggest we keep it on the humourous side as that way no one will take it too seriously.
I'll start...
(But anyone can join in at anytime.)
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Post by thascalos on Aug 11, 2005 15:48:45 GMT
Sounds good to me I'll give it a whirl as well  |
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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 11, 2005 15:50:20 GMT
Infinite Chaos
By Us
As the sun shown brightly, a strange sound was heard. Some would call it a grinding, or groaning. Someone even described it as a key beginning repeated dragged along a piano string. However, many agree it sounded like an elephant in labour.
Out of nowhere a large object appeared slowly. Once it was fully solid, the sound stopped. Before full materialisation, those travelers of the time-space continuum would have guessed the coming object would appear as a blue police box. However, this time they would have been wrong.
This TARDIS was in the form of a port-a-potty. The door suddenly slapped open.
To be continued...
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Soldeed
TARDIS Companion
My dreams! My dreams of conquest!
Posts: 82
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Post by Soldeed on Aug 11, 2005 17:07:11 GMT
The door of the port-a-potty shook violently, and incoherent grumbling could be heard from within. It was more or less obvioius that an occupant was attempting to excrete himself from the port-a-potty.
Suddenly, the door gave way at the weight of the occupant, and he came tumbling out as the door was torn off its hinges.
The man stood and dusted himself off. He was rather short, wore a rather nondescript gray overcoat, checked trousers, a question-mark pullover, and a battered hat.
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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 11, 2005 17:34:51 GMT
"Ace!" he cried. "What have you done? I told you not store your Nitro-9 near the Chamelion Curcuit!" The Doctor kicked the plastic door in frustration. "And I was just getting used to police box," he grumbled.
He turned to survey the landscape morosely, as Ace extracted herself from the TARDIS's new form. His jaw dropped in reaction to their new location. "No, not here!" he yelled.
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Soldeed
TARDIS Companion
My dreams! My dreams of conquest!
Posts: 82
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Post by Soldeed on Aug 11, 2005 17:53:48 GMT
"Where are we?" asked Ace.
"It's as I feared," growled the Doctor, slurring his words together viciously. "We're on the planet Alliteron!"
"Alliter-what?"
"Alliteron! One of the most irritating planets in the whole of space and time, and I have to go blundering into it! There's no justice in the multiverse, Ace..." The Doctor reached into his coat and pulled out a device filled with lights, which imediately began flashing as the Doctor manipulated various buttons and dials fixed into the device's backside.
"This planet...why is it so irritating?"
The Doctor sighed. "It's irritating, Ace,, because..." The Doctor pulled a face as a read-out on the flashing device caught his attention. "These readings...they must be wrong. They simply must be."
"Why?" But the Doctor didn't answer.
"Come on, Ace! We've got work to do! The people of this irritating little speck of nothing need our help."
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 11, 2005 19:48:10 GMT
The Alliteronions were a stupid and irritating people. They were short, the average Alliteronion being four-foot-four-inches in height. Round in the belly and childlike in the face, in some ways this was not to misleading as they only lived for about a month.
"Da-da where are you?" shouted Dinki-Dinka the oldest of his race, being nearly a month and three days old. He was bright pink and his voice was the squeakiest on the planet. Like all Alliterons he was covered in lots of fluffy hair leaving only his face and hands showing. In this case his hair was bright pink.
"I'm here!" here shouted Da-da while ajusting his head arial, "What is it?"
"The Doctor is coming we must prepare him some Ality-snacks!"
"Then I shall go and ask Snorkle to prepare some Ality-Custard and Ality-Toast!"
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Soldeed
TARDIS Companion
My dreams! My dreams of conquest!
Posts: 82
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Post by Soldeed on Aug 11, 2005 20:08:09 GMT
"Hello..." grimaced the Doctor once he'd confronted the little month-and-three-days Alliteron. "I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend, Ace."
"And do you have a sexual relationship" askd Month-and-three-days. The Doctor sighed. Why did EVERYbody ask this.
"No...we do not have a sexual reltionship."
"Then, are you a homosexial?" asked twenty-six-days, another Aliteron at his side.
"If you like," hurried the Doctor. "But what is much more urgent is that you are all in desperate trouble. I've just remembered. I've been meaning to come here for centuries, which explains the TARDIS' curious change of course, and change of shape with it."
"What's going to happen professor?"
"The Alliterons are going to hit puberty, Ace. And when that happens, a force will be unleashed that will allow any passing Time Lord to recreate the universe in any way that he/she/it/they choses."
"What are we going to do?" asked Ace.
"Well, for starters, have some tea and Ality-Snacks."
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 11, 2005 20:24:27 GMT
"What's puberty?" asked the four-days-olds Alliteronion known as Bubbles to his friends. He was bright gree and had a peculier pyramid shaped head ariel.
"The most horrible force in the galaxy!" The Doctor said as they walked towards the Ality-Food-Hall.
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Soldeed
TARDIS Companion
My dreams! My dreams of conquest!
Posts: 82
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Post by Soldeed on Aug 11, 2005 20:53:06 GMT
"OKAY SO LISTEN UP!" shouted an oriental voice. THey looked up to see a young Taiwanese student. "I AM TAIPEIROCKETS SEE! SO EAT MY ROCKETS! I WILL NEVER HIT PUBERTY!"
"Oh, but you will.." mourned the Doctor. "Everyone does...eventually...well, almost everyone..." he looked down at his trousers.
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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 11, 2005 20:56:05 GMT
Meanwhile, in another part of the galaxy, exactly 180 degrees across the galactic center from Alliteron, a blue police box,making that same elephant-in-labour sound, materialised on the planet, Melora.
Out of the TARDIS stepped the Second Doctor,who smiled as he breathed in the fresh air. Jamie followed out of the TARDIS a second later.
"Doctor, where are we? Scotland?" he asked hopefully as he surveyed the sheep grazed on hills that could have easily been mistaken for the Highlands.
"No Jamie, judging by the three suns, I'd say this is Meloria" answered the rumbled timelord. He turned to Jamie, touched his arm and said, "Whatever you do, stay away from the sheep." The Doctor raised his eyebrow meaningfully.
He then pulled something out of his pocket and placed it in Jamie's hand.
"Wha are these Doctor?" Jamie asked in his thick accent.
"Earplugs" answered the Doctor. "We'll need them when we meet the Melorians."
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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 12, 2005 0:15:53 GMT
"Wha a we need these for?" Jamie exclaimed.
"Well Jamie," soothed the Doctor. "It's for the Melorian election."
"Doctor, I think ye finally gone of yer rocker!" exclaimed Jamie.
"No Jamie, you don't understand."
"Aye"
"The Melorians have a rather...unique form of democracy. The election takes place in theatre of superior acoustics.
"Aye"
"To determine their new ruler, they have a belching contest."
"Wha?"
"Yes, it can be quite deafening. As a result, most Melorians are hard of hearing, and speak quite loudly." The Doctor smiled, holding up his earplugs.
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Post by Claire Voyant on Aug 15, 2005 0:02:34 GMT
Meanwhile back on Alliteron, the dimunitive and annoyingly perky Alliterons were guiding ACE and the Doctor to the house where they were to have their tea and Ality-Snacks.
All of a sudden an extra-small Alliteron wrapped itself around ACE's leg, undulating. ACE stared down the now-attached alliteron.
"Perfessor, it's trying to hump my leg like...like a dog in heat" she exclaimed.
"Ah" moaned the Doctor. "Puberty has started. Now where's that tea?"
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Post by John Darnacan on Aug 15, 2005 13:27:23 GMT
"Doctor, wha so special about this place?" asked Jamie. "Beyond the belching, I mean."
"Well Jamie, there seems to be a space-time conduit between this planet and another at exactly the opposite side of the galaxy," answered the Second Doctor. "Now what was the name of that planet? Abra cadabra? No. Alistair? Alimony? Albatross?"
"That's quite an alliteration, Doctor, " commented Jamie.
"That's it Jamie, Alliteron! Thank you, Jamie" the Doctor said excitedly. Then he paused and eyed Jamie. "That's awefully multisyllabic of you Jamie. Alliteration?" Jamie blushed.
"Well, Zoe's been giving me lessons.
"Lessons? What sort of lessons?" inquired the Doctor. Jamie blushed again.
"All sorts of things. She says I've become quite a cunning ling..."
"You two haven't been having sex in the TARDIS again?" interrupted the Doctor.
"Doctor, how could you say a thing like that?"
"Easy, ever since I found you two sprawled on top of the time column. Speaking of Zoe, where is our catsuited vixen?"
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Post by Meddling Monkey on Aug 16, 2005 0:06:54 GMT
"Here I am, Doctor" said Zoe, as she was zipping up her tightest sparkly black leather catsuit.
"I see we're going for the Emma Peel look today, are we? No matter. Here you go, Zoe" said the Doctor, offering her a pair of plugs.
"Doctor, I already have contraceptives."
"They're earplugs, my dear" answered the Doctor, exasperated. "I'll explain on the way."
They started down the hill. The Doctor turned to find his other companion.
"Jamie! I said, stay away from those sheep!"
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